Our First Last Goodbye
by Singerdiva01
Summary: An angsty look at the first time Billy and Laura have to deal with her body's betrayal together.


"Madame President? Madame President? Are you alright?"

Laura raised her head from the cold surface of the metal cabinet and tried to focus her blurry vision on the door. She knew she needed to answer but the same breathlessness that had caused her to fall to the floor, naked and soaking wet, had also stolen her voice.

"Ma'am? Madame President, you're scaring me. I'm going to come in, ok?"

The question was a declaration and she used what little strength she had left to try to reassure her aide.

"I'm ok, Billy," she managed. Her voice was weak even to her own ears and she knew before the door even eased open it would increase rather than assuage Billy's concern. She pulled the towel over herself as best as she could before slumping even further down the cabinet, too drained to do anything more to spare her modesty.

Even as she focused on not passing out Laura could read the tension in Billy's body as he carefully eased open the door.

"Oh my Gods."

Laura clenched her eyes shut against the impending tears. She felt him kneel down beside her on the floor and the heavy warmth of his hand on her bare shoulder.

"Are you hurt?"

His voice was incredibly soft and Laura opened her eyes to find his worried ones studying her face. She shook her head and fought the urge to plead with him to just leave, knowing it would be futile.

"Just need to get my strength back," she managed as she tried and failed to pull herself up against the counter.

"Alright," he said resolutely. He surveyed her position on the floor and the precarious placement of the too small towel and she was surprised to see determination flash in his eyes where she expected pity and embarrassment.

"Put your arm around me," he instructed, leaning in as if for an embrace. She somehow found the strength to do as he'd asked and she felt herself being lifted into a sitting position. She shivered as her naked back made contact with the cold metal cabinet.

As soon as he seemed sure she wasn't about to slump back over he was adjusting the towel more securely around her, keeping his eyes locked to hers as he did. She felt the tears stinging her eyes again and she choked back a sob. She'd been here before, helping her own mother off the floor, and only the memory of Judith's embarrassment being harder to bear than the situation itself kept her from pleading again for him to leave the room.

"Ok," he muttered under his breath. He stood to grab another towel from the rack behind him and she was surprised when he knelt back down and started expertly rubbing it through her hair.

"Gods, your hair holds more water than a mop," he said with a slight smile and Laura choked out a giggle at his attempt at levity.

He kept working the fabric through her mane for a few moments before stopping and giving the towel and then her hair a confused look.

"You know, Madame President, I've never figured out how women do that turban thing with their hair," he commented and Laura felt her chest swell at the confused normalcy of his tone. He shook his head once more before standing and grabbing her robe she'd left discarded on the toilet seat.

"Here, let's get this on," he said and before she could protest his hand was at her back, helping her lean forward. She clutched the towel desperately against her chest as he helped her get one damp arm through the hole and then the other. Once that was done he looked at her again with that same efficient expression, obviously trying to figure out how to help her wrap it around her lower body.

"You think you can stand if I help you?"

She nodded weakly, fairly certain now that the dizziness had passed she could at least get upright without passing out, and he nodded back. He put his arms around her again and she let him all but lift her into a standing position.

"Alright," he said softly, still holding her in a hug as she clung to him with one hand and the towel with the other. She could feel his warm breath against her ear as he shifted to free himself from her arms and balance her weight on the solid surface behind them.

"Now drop the towel and lean back against the counter while you tie your robe. I won't look and I won't let you fall," he reassured, taking firm hold of her shoulders as if to prove his point.

She looked to meet his eyes and she could tell it was taking all of his control to remain so calm. She hesitated for a moment, thinking of having him go get one of the female aides before realizing with no small amount of sadness that he was the only person left in the worlds she could trust to see her this way.

Eventually she drew up her courage and dropped the towel. She scrambled to wrap the robe around herself and found the long ties. She made to knot them but found her hands were shaking too badly to cooperate.

She stared at her traitorous fingers for a moment and before she could stop it a long moan escaped her lips.

"Oh Gods," she whimpered, clenching her eyes shut.

"Hey," Billy said softly. When she didn't respond he addressed her more forcefully.

"Madame President, it's alright. Hold onto me while I tie it," he ordered. She was crying openly as she raised her shaking hand to his arm. He fumbled with the ties, moving her other hand slightly where it was still clutching the fabric, and in just a few seconds the task was done.

"Ok, good," he said, looking up at her with that same reassuring smile. "Now let's you into the bedroom."

Laura could barely nod but he had already shifted his body to put his arm around her waist. She leaned on him heavily as they made their way out of the head, unsure if her unsteadiness was a product of the illness or her complete mortification.

Her tears had slowed by the time he helped her settle into a sitting position at the edge of her makeshift bed. She looked up to thank him.

"Oh, Billy, thank you, I…" she trailed off when he raised a hand and turned to locate her small suitcase that still held the clothes that didn't hang on the bar he'd rigged on the other side of the room. He walked toward it resolutely, rifled through it for just a moment, and returned to press her silk underwear into her hand.

"I'm going to get you some water," he said, meeting her eyes again. She nodded gratefully and watched as he pushed the curtain aside and left the room.

Slowly she pulled the panties over her legs and carefully lifted her body to put them in place. She felt stronger now, the dizziness from the bathroom long gone, but it had been replaced by a deeply seated sense of dread.

She stared listlessly at the wall as her mind returned to the first time she found Judith collapsed on the floor of her bathroom. She'd reacted much like Billy had, numbed by the shock, but afterward they both knew something had changed. It was only days before they'd had to bring in help for simple things like showering and dressing and mere weeks before her mother had been confined to a hospital bed for the final time.

She was drawn out of her reverie by the soft swish of the curtain and Billy reappeared holding a glass of water in one hand and a steaming mug of chamalla laced tea in the other. He put them down in front of her wordlessly and was walking back to the head before she could respond.

When he came back moments later he was carrying her hairbrush and she gasped in surprise when he clumsily plopped himself down on the bed and settled behind her.

"I assume you don't want me to call Doc Cottle," he said with a note of resigned disapproval in his voice, "so I've rescheduled your first meeting for this afternoon and now your day will start with lunch with the Commander."

Laura hummed in response, too surprised to speak, and gasped again when Billy started running the brush through her hair.

"Billy, you don't have to do that."

Her voice was teary and the motion of the bristles against her scalp felt so good she couldn't muster the strength to protest when he simply continued without bothering to respond.

They sat quietly for a few moments, Laura sipping her tea and him brushing through her locks, before he hit a tangle and she cried out involuntarily.

"Ouch!"

Billy stopped and she knew without even turning around he'd turned red.

"Sorry, Madame President," he said sheepishly before returning more carefully to his task. "You know, I think I know now why my sisters hogged the bathroom all those years."

Laura's eyes widened and she started giggling, almost upsetting her tea.

"Great, this is even easier with you moving," he groused playfully and it only served to make her giggle harder.

Finally she stilled and allowed him to finish. When he was done a tense silence had replaced the humor and Laura felt her hands start to shake again.

"Come here," she said, patting the space beside her on the bed. Billy maneuvered his limbs to get into the ordered position and for the first time his eyes betrayed unsurety as they met hers.

"Billy, I don't…," her voice cracked and suddenly the speech she'd been rehearsing in her head as he brushed her hair caught in her throat. She looked down, trying to regain control.

"Don't send me away, Madame President," he whispered desperately. Laura looked up in surprise, shocked that she once again could be surprised by his perceptiveness.

"Oh, Billy, honey, I won't send you away but this isn't going to get any easier. I don't want you to have to do this for me. I don't want…" she trailed off again, unable to tell him she didn't want him to go through what she had with her mother, to spend so many years trying to will those images away when she tried to sleep.

Suddenly his fingers covered her hand and she looked up to see him smiling at her sadly.

"Do you trust me?"

Laura's eyes filled with tears and she could only nod. She trusted no one but him and she almost shuddered at the thought of placing such responsibility on his young shoulders.

"Then whatever comes next, we'll get through it together. I promise."

His words, so resolute and comforting, rang in her ears long after he'd cajoled her into lying down and turned off the lights with a promise to wake her for her first meeting. She stared at the ceiling and tried to will away nagging guilt for letting him condemn himself to the pain he certainly couldn't imagine was coming.

"Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer. Take care of my son Billy in the weeks to come…"


End file.
